Under Pressure
by rotterdam
Summary: 10th August. Sirius is lost: mentally and physically. After escaping from his family at the beginning of the summer he sinks into the dark Muggle world of drugs and casual sex. Can he be found or is he too far gone?
1. Under The Weather

[A/N I'm hoping this will be the beginning of a new and improved version of Run, Sirius, Run, which makes me cringe when I read it back now. Let me know what you think.]

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Plink… plink… plink… plink…

The sharp, hollow sound of the leaky tap echoed off the walls of the otherwise silent public toilet. The once-white tiles were covered in years of grime and one of the lights above the sink flickered. The door was securely locked despite the fact that no one was likely to come in at that time of the night.

Plink… plink… plink… plink…

Sirius sat slumped against the wall of the left cubical, gripping his stomach in pain and concentrating on not throwing up. The smell of vomit and shit was already sickening, especially from his position on the floor. He stared at the dirty tiled floor and followed the patterns in the grime made by a half-hearted cleaner with a mop. His eyes stung from tiredness and he could feel perspiration break out on his forehead and top lip, a combination of sickness and the humid summer night. Suddenly lurching, he leant forward and threw up once again in the toilet bowl until all he could do was dry heave. Feeling utterly exhausted he wanted to sleep but the feeling of dirtiness forced him up. He fumbled with the cubical lock and opened the door, staggering slightly to the sink, which he grasped with both hands before looking up into the mirror.

He closed his eyes quickly. That wasn't him in the mirror. He opened them and saw the same pale and thin creature staring back at his through bloodshot and baggy eyes. His hair and face was dirty and glistened with sweat and twisting sideways, Sirius noticed with distant alarm that he was looking pretty skinny. The twisting reignited the pain in his abdomen and lifting his t-shirt, he noted the purple bruising across his stomach and ribs. He barely acknowledged this however, having become increasingly accustomed to such a sight over the past five years.

He twisted the hot tap on but the water that came out was only vaguely warm. It was better than nothing though and he bent over the sink, scrubbing his face with his hands. Sticking his entire head under the stream of water he soaked his hair and squeezed a good quantity of pink soap into his hand from the dispenser. Standing up, rivulets of water dripping down his face and neck, he lathered the soap into his hair before washing in out again. Sirius noticed with satisfaction that the water ran slightly brown so he kept scrubbing until it was clear. He squeezed as much water out as possible, shook his head violently and then knelt under the hand-dryer to dry it properly.

Rubbing his hands through his now clean hair to remove the knots, he noticed for the first time that his hands were still shaking. Being busy with washing had occupied his mind for a few minutes but now he felt sick as his mind wandered back to the events of the night. Staring transfixed at his image in the mirror, Sirius tried to put his life into perspective.

_It's not too bad…_

There was no point trying to kid himself; he'd been through plenty of shit but this must have been the very lowest. All he wanted was a hot bath but… he dug his way through the pockets of his Levis. £4.00 and two cigarettes. But no lighter. It was enough for a coffee though so bracing himself, he unlocked the toilet door and emerged into a bluish light of dawn.

Sirius had no idea what the time was as he had been mugged of his watch long before but he guessed it was about 5am. He had taken refuge in the public toilets next to the park where _it _had happened. Glancing back towards the disused park, Sirius shuddered and the sickness returned so he marched in the opposite direction, desperate to find an all-night café.

He walked for five minutes before he found a suitably cheap one. Slipping inside, he glanced around, glad to find it almost empty. An old man sat at the counter and a couple of builder-like men sat at a table by the misty window. They watched Sirius as he went by and the hairs on the back of his neck prickled. He was getting paranoid. Heart still beating a little fast, he ordered a black coffee from the tired looking lady behind the till and rummaged in his pocket for £1.20. Paying her quickly, he moved to the very back of the café, far from any other person. Sirius tried a sip of the coffee, which wasn't nearly as good as what he was used to, and all he got was a burnt tongue. Instead, he held it to warm his hands and stared into the mugs black depths. His mind wandered involuntarily to the events of the previous night.

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_It was past eleven o'clock so darkness had finally set in. Sirius was sat at his usual bench outside Soho Square wearing his scruffy Levi's and the same shirt he'd been in for three days. His clothes were still with Will at the squat but Sirius wasn't sure if he was welcomed back there yet. He was depressed and hungry, a situation only made worse by the busy McDonalds opposite him. He slouched back on the bench and stared about haughtily. _

_His stretch of pavement was relatively quiet and he was about to move on when a car pulled up in front of him. Sirius did a quick sweeping check of it; nice make, good condition. He knew very little about Muggle cars but knew the difference between nice ones and shit ones. He could expect a relatively well-off driver although he knew that this really meant nothing. The going rate was the going rate no matter who he was sucking off. _

_He stood up, suddenly feeling very tired and nonchalantly approached the driver's side of the car. The window wound down and Sirius lent towards it. The man who sat inside was middle-aged, slightly arrogant looking and, as Sirius had expected, dressed in a suit. _

"_Thirty pounds for a fuck and no more," the man snapped, clearly tense. _

_Sirius leant against the window frame and dipped one arm into the car, brushing his hand over the man's nipple. He sucked on his bottom lip and stared at the man seductively. "I can guarantee I'm worth forty."_

_The statement hung in the air as they maintained eye contact. Sirius rubbed the man's nipple once again, which seemed to clinch the deal._

"_Ok, get in." The man jerked his head to the back seat of the car and Sirius got in. He sat back and tried not to look too tired as the car pulled away quickly as he now had to prove his worth. _

_The car travelled quickly through the hot London night. Sirius wondered briefly whether they were going to the man's house, a hotel or were going to make do with the car. As they pulled into a deserted and dark car park, Sirius decided it was the latter._

_The man parked in the far corner so the car was hidden in the deep shadow of the neighbouring warehouse. Turning off the engine, they were plunged into silence for a brief moment before the man twisted round and clambered awkwardly over the front seats to where Sirius was sitting in the back._

_With barely a pause, he grabbed Sirius and pulled him onto him, kissing him roughly and tugging at his own belt buckle. _

_Sirius responded to the rough mix of teeth and tongue fervently and hurriedly opened his own jeans, moving down to such the man's neck. His hands felt out the man's erection, which he stroked quickly while struggling to find the room to get down on his knees. He managed it and began to suck the man off while feeling powerful hands gripping his hair. The man's cock was pretty large and Sirius had to fight the familiar gagging reflex as he sucked the whole length at once. _

_Suddenly, he was pulled up and flipped over on the seat. Show time. He heard the man spit thickly onto his fingers, which were then roughly pushed one by one into him. Sirius stiffened briefly at the intrusion before pushing back against the pressure, hearing the man spit heavily onto him once again. The fingers disappeared and were replaced immediately with the thick head of the man's penis which pressed briefly against his tight opening before pushing all the way through._

_Sirius and the man grunted in unison at the before the man, unable to contain himself, started pounding into him hard and fast. Sirius lent hard on the back door of the car for support and allowed his mind to slip into a state of numbness. He always switched himself off when he was with a guy in this sort of situation._

"_Fuck," the man grunted. "So… uh… worth… forty quid," he gasped out, quickening his pace._

_Sirius felt strong hands grip his narrow hips for support and he grasped the door harder to stop himself slipping off the seat. His mind wandered to Remus… poor Remus. Sirius suddenly felt sick. Swallowing hard, he moaned and squirmed as the man came inside him with a sudden hard thrust._

"_Very good," the man grunted, slapping Sirius hard on the arse before turning away. _

_Sirius gritted his teeth and pulled up his jeans. He heard the rustle of money and turned to the man to take the forty pounds from him. Quickly checking them in the dim light, he shoved them thankfully into his pocket._

"_Right, now get out," the man snapped, getting out of the back seat and back into the front one._

"_Aren't you going to drop me back to Soho?" Sirius asked, surprised and annoyed. _

"_No. Get out." The man turned round menacingly in his seat to stare at Sirius._

_Sirius scowled but knew better than to argue with him. He got out quickly and slammed the door angrily. The car drove away quickly, leaving Sirius alone in the dark car park. He stood still, listening to the sound of the engine fading. A siren echoed in the distance. Crossing his arms against the chilly wind, Sirius walked quickly out onto the pavement and towards what appeared to be a busier one than the empty street he currently walked. Kicking a can angrily out of his way he realised that he had no idea where he was and nowhere to go. _

_Reaching the main road, he realised with a jolt of thankfulness that he knew where he was. Brick Lane wasn't too far and therefore, neither was some sort of high. Slipping his hand into his pocket to feel the comforting rustle of the notes, Sirius walked quickly towards the rougher end of the street. It was much quieter here except for the constant stream of taxis and red buses speeding by. _

_Sirius hovered by a telephone box, hands in his pockets. It wasn't long before he spotted a car pulled up about twenty metres away, lights on but stationary. He stared at this for a few minutes before approaching it cautiously. _

_Whoever was inside wound down the window as Sirius approached, which he took as a promising sign. He knew by this point that the man was definitely a drug dealer but it was always best to be cautious. _

_The man inside leant towards him slightly out of the gloom of the car. His face was illuminated enough for Sirius to see him cock an eyebrow._

"_Heroin", Sirius grunted, casting a nervous glance in both directions. "And grass," he added, passing both twenties through the window. The man rustled through a bag on the passenger seat before passing back two small plastic bags and five pounds change._

_Sirius stuffed them hastily into his pocket and marched quickly in the opposite direction. He wanted to get away from the car quickly. Just in case. He spotted a newsagents ahead and made straight for it. Slipping inside, he smiled briefly at the girl behind the till, aware that she was hastily attempting to make her hair look nicer. He felt tired and ill and the only thought in his head was now concerned with the drugs in his back pocket. He grabbed a couple of Milkybars and a bottle of water. _

_Buying them quickly, Sirius walked towards a park he knew was nearby. He's spent hazy days the summer before there with Will. The iron bars of the park fence loomed up on the other side of the road. They looked slightly spooky in the darkness as Sirius went through the open gate. He stopped to watch and listen. The only sounds came from cars speeding through the night nearby and one set of hurried footsteps moving away. He couldn't see anyone either. _

_Spotting a bench against the far edge to the park, Sirius went over and sat down. Pulling out the Milkybars, he ate them quickly, saving the precious thin sheets of tin foil which he folded together neatly. Taking out the heroin, he carefully placed a couple of pinches of the precious brown powder on the foil, which was balanced precariously on his knee. Adding a couple of drops of water, he flicked open his lighter and held it close to the underneath of the foil. The heroin bubbled and melted, letting off a sweet smoke as it did. _

_Quickly, Sirius placed the foil back on his knee, ignoring the burning heat. He cupped his hands around it, leant over and inhaled the smoke. The sudden hit was fantastic. Sirius felt his stomach unknot and muscles he didn't know were clenched relaxed. His constant headache faded and he felt relatively happy. He didn't move for the next five minutes, staying hunched over the smoke and inhaling as much as possible. Too soon though, the heroin had all but burnt away._

_Sirius sat back, content for once. The foil and bag of heroin fell to the floor. Eyes slipping shut, Sirius slid sideways onto the bench and fell asleep. _

…

_A heavy whack round the head half woke Sirius up and half knocked him unconscious again. He tried to shout out in alarm but the words caught in his throat as he was dragged suddenly off the bench by strong hands around his ankles. His cheekbone smashing painfully into the ground, he was pulled backwards further away from the path too quickly to try to put up a fight. _

_Flipped suddenly onto his back, the hands firmly holding him down, Sirius opened his eyes to see little more than the blackness of the night. His heart leapt as the vague outline of a man entered his peripheral vision. Opening his mouth to scream, he felt the icy sting of a blade pushed against his throat. The face loomed close to his. Sirius stared in horror into the shadowy eyes, the familiar wave of panic washing over him. _

"_Make one noise and you're dead," the man muttered in a guttural growl. "Now, I'll put something in your mouth and you'll take it," he said carefully._

_Sirius clenched his eyes tightly shut, trying to block out the sound of heavy breathing and the unzipping of the man's trousers. He gulped, his heart pounding in his chest and half-heartedly struggled against the heavy weight of the body on him and painfully aware of the blade glinting nearby._

_And quickly the man moved, stuffing his erect cock deep into Sirius' mouth. Unready and tense, he choked, coughing violently._

_The man pulled out, wet streams of saliva hanging from him. "Shut it," he snarled, thrusting back down._

_Sirius held back his chokes and tried to relax his throat but the bile built up anyway. His eyes streamed and he desperately fought his gagging reflex. The man pulled out again and Sirius coughed, threads of phlegm dripping over his face. _

_Grunting in pleasure, the man pushed suddenly back in and thrust himself to a climax, oblivious to Sirius' agony beneath him._

_Sirius' hands gripped the long grass and he focused on the smell of the nearby foliage as he desperately tried to ignore the stranger's come spilling into his mouth. He swallowed automatically, used to it by now and knowing that he would never have been allowed to spit it out. _

_The man said nothing; Sirius faintly heard the sound of a zip being done up and suddenly, as quickly as he had arrived, the man was gone._

_Sirius lay where he had been abandoned, unable to move an inch. His hands were still gripping the grass and his spit was still splattered over his face. He clenched his eyes shut and sat up slowly. He didn't even think he was going to be sick; he was too empty for that. Coughing hard, he wiped his sleeve over his mouth and stood up shakily, staggering to grip the back of the bench for support. Looking up, he saw no one in the park and only a couple of streetlights illuminated the unlocked door to a public toilet in the far corner._

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Sirius stared into his cold coffee, slightly choked. He no longer felt like he could stomach it. Although he had been forced into sex before, the suddenness of this attack had left him shaken.

Pushing his cup away, he stood up shakily and left the café only to be hit by the heavy rain which had suddenly started up. Running, his arms crossed against the weather, he ran back towards Brick Lane. Without thinking, he found himself near the squat. Realising this, he stopped suddenly on the street, his arms hanging limply at his side.

Panic rose in his throat as the realisation that he was completely alone. He looked back over his shoulder at the flickering light to an all-night fast food restaurant and then to an off-licence where a man was leaving, bag in hand.

Sirius's breath caught in his throat. It was Will. He was suddenly aware of the rain coursing down his face and his hair plastered to his forehead.

He watched Will glance around at the rain and put his hood up, before doing a slight double-take in Sirius' direction and freezing. Sirius knew there was no time to disappear; he had been seen. Will walked slowly towards him, fidgeting with the zip on his hoodie.

"Sirius?" It wasn't really a question although Will was shocked by how haggard Sirius was looking. "What are you doing here?"

A shadow of something crossed over Sirius face and he looked suddenly distressed.

"Sirius, are you ok?" Will stepped forward and gripped Sirius arm, which was noticeably thinner. Sirius stepped back.

"I didn't realised where I was," he said, still hardly believing that Will was there. He looked the same, as strong and reliable as ever. The light from the off-licence behind him lit up his fair brown hair, his brow was furrowed slightly in concern and he stared into Sirius' eyes.

The rain continued to pour. "Come back with me," Will said before realising how it sounded. Their relationship had ended badly and he didn't want to have to deal with Sirius again now that everything was settling down. "I'll sleep in the floor."

Sirius began to shake his head but Will muttered that it was still raining and dragged him down the road to the squat, which was in a large, slightly derelict Edwardian house off Brick Lane. Will pushed open the heavy door, pulled Sirius into the large, gloomy hallway and closed it behind them.

Sirius breathed in the comforting smell of damp and weed which had become so familiar to him over the past few years and felt more at home than he had in a while. He was beckoned up the stairs by Will, who led him up to the first floor. Burnt out candles lined every step as there was no electricity in the building. The small kitchen at the top of the stairs was illuminated by dawn light creeping in through the frosted window pane. A figure had their back to them and was filling a glass with water from a bottle. Sirius recognised the dyed blonde hair and froze in the doorway as Mark glanced over his shoulder to see who it was, eyes wide in surprise.

Will shook his head and kept moving, warning Mark not to make a bitchy comment as he usually would. He opened his bedroom door and moved aside as Sirius slowly walked inside, unsure what to do with himself. He shut the door behind him and moved quickly about the room lighting candles as the faint morning light didn't penetrate the heavy curtains.

"So how are you?" asked Will.

Sirius knew he hated small talk so he ignored the question. He stared at the calendar on the wall instead. "What's the date."

"The tenth of August," Will answered, standing awkwardly, not sure what to do. He stared at Sirius' gaunter frame and paler, more drawn features. He could recognise the tell-tale signs of heroin and felt sad but also faintly relieved that he had kicked Sirius out before he got dragged into the mess.

Sirius looked round at him in surprise. "Already?" he asked, slowly wandering towards the mattress on the floor in the far corner, staring at the new additions to the posters blue-tacked to the walls. He realised with a jolt that he had run away from home six weeks ago. It suddenly seemed like a long time to have been on the streets and the enormity of what he had done on the spur of the moment, when faced with his parents and an awful choice, crashed down around him. Staring up at a large poster of _The Catcher in the Rye, _he became acutely aware of the tears coursing down his cheeks and, finding his knees too weak to hold him, sat down heavily on the mattress, his shoulders heaving.

Will jumped in shock as Sirius broke down in tears, sitting down with his face in his hands. Will shakily climbed onto the mattress beside him and hugged the younger boy to his chest, feeling Sirius' hot tears soaking into his t-shirt. He made vague hushing noises but was acutely aware of the irony of anyone trying to play mother to Sirius when he had gone so long without a real one. He made do with rocking Sirius gently and wondered what had brought this on. He doubted he would ever know.

Will felt Sirius' sobs begin to subside slightly an took the opportunity to push him back to lie on the bed. Getting up quickly and blowing out all of the candles, Will pulled off his shoes, bent down and tugged of Sirius', and climbed onto the mattress behind him. He pulled a blanket over the two of them and then lay down, hugging Sirius' back to his chest and planting comforting kisses along the back of his neck. He breathed in Sirius' familiar smoky smell and felt him fall asleep in his arms.

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	2. Under Illusions

'Are you awake?'

It was a familiar question from a very familiar voice but was by now so out of context that Sirius jerked awake immediately. He blinked hard, his eyes adjusting to the bright light streaming through the large window of a room he knew only too well. The events of the night before came back and a heavy weight seemed to drop into his stomach. 'Err, yeah,' he muttered, scrabbling off the mattress and reaching for his shoes.

'Stay for breakfast,' said Will, a look of annoyance crossing his face as he realised how it sounded.

'It's fine. I have stuff to do.'

'Hustling?'

Sirius, looked up, glaring. Anger flamed inside him as he remembered his last conversation with Will over a month before. 'So what? There are worse things.'

There was a pause. 'So you haven't been home?' asked Will, slightly surprised. He knew how much Sirius hated his family but personally hadn't thought that he would have been able to cope without the luxury he was used to.

Sirius shook his head, standing up. The look on his face told Will that he was not to pursue this line of conversation. Awkwardness descended on them. 'I'll show myself out.'

He moved past Will quickly but started when Will reached out and grabbed his arm.

'I'm sorry how things ended between us, but-' He left the sentence hanging.

Sirius knew what he was getting at. _But Sirius had changed too much and was too hard to deal with. Even for Will._ He stared Will in the eye for a moment and saw pity there. He looked away and left.

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Sirius passed the day in a haze of cocaine and deep thought. When he thought of Will anger bubbled in his chest; how dare he judge Sirius when they had been through so much? Will hadn't been much different.

Filled with trepidation, he hung around his usual corner and picked up a couple of lunchtime tricks – a few office workers looking for a quick blow job. Not much but an extra sixty pounds in his back pocket.

Sitting down on a park bench with a cigarette and Mars Bar, he sunk into sullen thought again. Images of Will, James and his father flashed through his mind before he thought of the first man who had ever paid him for sex. Will hadn't been so judging then and he had only been fifteen, but maybe his new relative sobriety had made him less forgiving. The memory flooded back.

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_Sirius sat at the bar, right leg crossed over the left one, swirling the remains of his gin and tonic around the glass. The general hum of the late night conversation mulled around him as he took another sip. _

_He had sat at the bar all evening as he had nowhere else to go. He had pondered scrounging a night on Kit's sofa but didn't want to push himself on anyone. Anyway, he thought that loitering in dodgy Soho bars would at least ensure he stayed well away from any of his cousins prowling grounds. If he decided to loiter around the Ritz, he would stand a good chance of bumping into Lucius Malfoy, and he certainly didn't fancy that. No, strange men and grimy glasses were a much safer alternative. _

_He glanced at the clock and realised with a jolt that it was nearly closing time. A knot tightened in his stomach and his thoughts inexplicitly jumped to James, who he presumed was asleep safely in his bed in Richmond._

_Draining his glass, he left the bar, earning a few unashamed stares from older men who were lingering, hoping to pick up someone at the last minute. It was a breezy night for June, and a definite chill was in the air. He wrapped his scruffy cashmere cardigan tighter around his slim frame and sniffed. He had managed to scrounge half a line of coke off a young clubber, but that had been over three hours ago and the effects of the drug were long gone. He fumbled in his pocket for a crumpled pack of Marlboro's and opened them only to discover that it was empty._

_Although the street was relatively deserted, he hadn't noticed the dark blue Ford Fiesta pull up slowly beside him. Sirius only noticed that the car was there when the driver wound the window down. _

_The two men looked at each other for a brief moment. Illuminated in the light from the flickering street light and the neon red bar sign behind him, Sirius was lit up and almost glowed sex-appeal. Even after several days sleeping rough in London, he could turn it on if he felt like it. The man in the car appeared to be about forty. Sirius noticed his open shirt and suit jacket on the passenger seat of the car; this man was probably a banker of some sort, Sirius guessed._

_The stranger leaned towards Sirius slightly. "Need a cigarette?"_

_It was strange how so much could be suggested in such a short sentence. Sirius was quick enough to know exactly what the man was really after. He glanced up and down the street once. "Sure."_

_The stranger removed his blazer from the passenger seat and threw it on to the back seat of the car as Sirius moved round to open the door. He slipped into the passenger seat and shot a half-smile at the driver who was now holding out a lit cigarette. Taking it gratefully, Sirius inhaled deeply on it and flicked the ash out of the window. _

_The stranger moved off and sped away from the club. "I'm Andrew," he said._

"_Sirius," Sirius replied, eyeing him openly now. Andrew was indeed wearing a suit, and as far as Sirius could tell, it looked well made. He shifted his hand down to move up a gear, and Sirius watched the muscles tighten in his arm. _

_Andrew glanced nervously at the younger man in the car next to him and noted with pleasure that he was indeed extremely handsome. Black silky hair fell in a fringe to brush over one eye and steely grey eyes met his. Andrew flicked his eyes back to the road. "Unusual name," he commented._

_Sirius drew again on the cigarette. "Yes, my parents were fond of odd names."_

"_Oh?"_

"_Considering that my brother is called Regulus, I think I got off quite lightly," Sirius said with wry humour. _

_The older man smiled and nodded. He had been surprised at the boy's upper class accent, having been ready for and uneducated drawl. It was a pleasant surprise._

_They passed the rest of the short journey in silence, occasionally exchanging glances. _

_Sirius felt odd. The knot was still present in his stomach, firmly twisted, and he was doing his best to push the feeling of unease away. The man, Andrew, seemed to be harmless but he still drummed his fingers nervously on his knee._

_After only a few minutes, they pulled into a quiet residential street consisting of Victorian warehouses converted in to modern apartments. The car parked in front of a white-washed house which had been, Sirius guessed by the number of doorbells by the front door, converted into four flats. _

_He lingered on the door step while Andrew unlocked the door as quietly as possible, and glanced quickly up and down the street before stepping into a small hallway and holding the door open for Sirius. He followed him up one flight of smart stairs and they stopped at flat two. Andrew unlocked this door too and held it open for Sirius, who entered and hovered uncertainly in the darkness while Andrew entered and shut the door behind them. _

_He moved away and a lamp flickered on, bathing the flat in a warm glow. Sirius glanced around approvingly at the modern apartment, with its open plan living area and ample bookshelf. He looked around as Andrew disappeared into the bedroom, presumably to hang up his suit, and noticed several framed photographs of Andrew with a blond woman on the mantelpiece. Sirius moved closer to look at them. She looked about the same age as Andrew, and due to the way they stood in the photos, with their arms around one another, he presumed that she was his wife. _

"_She's away," said a voice abruptly behind Sirius. _

_He jumped, unaware that he had been watched. Smiling sheepishly, Sirius turned back to Andrew, who, he was relieved to notice, didn't look cross. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." _

_Andrew shrugged. He was unsure of whether or not to offer the younger man a drink; he hadn't done this type of thing too often before and the other men he had taken home with him had taken control of the situation. This Sirius seemed to be just as unsure as he was. He watched as he continued to glance curiously around the apartment, leaning casually back against the mantelpiece. Deciding suddenly that he was now too turned on by the younger man to wait any longer, he pulled Sirius forward by the shoulders into a fierce kiss, yanking him further into the centre of the room._

_Sirius, caught by surprise, struggled to gain control in the kiss as he felt Andrews's tongue flicker into his mouth. He had missed this type of intimate body contact and warmed to the older man's touch, allowing him to take control as the kiss deepened. Sirius felt Andrew's hands move up to touch the side of his face and his hair, while he wrapped his arms around the older man's waist._

_Andrew suddenly stopped, grabbed Sirius by the chin and held him away. Eyeing him, he asked, "How old are you again?"_

_Sirius just managed to hold back a smile. If he had said his true age – fifteen – he would have gambled all the money in the Black family vault that the man would have fucked him anyway. Better be safe than sorry. "Eighteen," he answered defiantly, gazing deep into the older man's eyes and shifting his hips forwards suggestively. There was no way he was going to gamble a warm bed for the night now._

_The movement was enough to make Andrew ignore and niggling doubts he had. He was too intoxicated by the boy. "Fine," he said, and resumed the fiery kiss. _

_The hands disappeared from Sirius' hair and Andrew broke the kiss, only to roughly yank Sirius' cardigan off, closely followed by his Fred Perry polo shirt. They fell carelessly to the floor as Sirius grappled with the buttons on Andrew's shirt. Andrew gave a grunt of irritation and pulled the shirt of over his head, tossed it to the flood to join Sirius', and then seized the younger boy by the shoulders and kissed him once again. _

_Sirius felt strong hands grasp his slim hips and push him backwards towards the bedroom. He stumbled slightly, but the grasp didn't slacken so he managed to keep his balance. He just managed to catch a glimpse of closed wooden venetian blinds and a huge silver framed mirror before his head was forced round for another bruising kiss. Andrew nipped painfully at his lips and moved away to run a hot tongue along Sirius' jaw line while eager hands undid both of their belts. Sirius aided him by kicking off his shoes, pulling off his Levi's and boxers and then stood back to let Andrew do the same. Sirius ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his eyes, gazing down at Andrew all the while. The older man was hurriedly pulling off his shoes, trousers and pants, and was bent over to do so but couldn't keep his eyes off Sirius' naked body. _

_He had definitely seen more muscular men, but over-developed muscles would not have suited this boy. Nevertheless, the boy had firm muscle definition, which Andrew guessed was from playing sport rather than working out. _

"_Play football?" he asked breathlessly, tossing off his socks and straitening up, now gazing down at Sirius' slightly stiff cock. He himself was completely and utterly hard - harder than Michelle had ever made him in his life._

_Sirius had noticed this and glanced from Andrew's face down to his cock, which stood pointing up, a single bead of pre-come at the tip. He looked up again and licked his lips pointedly. "Yeah," he murmured, deciding not to go into Quidditch at this point in time. _

_The older man watched Sirius's pink tongue flicker out from his mouth as he licked his lips. His heart beat sped up and he could feel his cock aching. It would not be good for him to come now although he was sure that he would be able to climax just by staring at the beautiful boy in front of him. _

_Sirius moved forward slightly, looking down. He angled his hips forward until the tip of Andrew's cock just touched the fine hairs on his abdomen. He glanced back up at Andrew's face to see that the man had closed his eyes at this lightest of touches. Sirius grinned to himself, revelling in the pleasure he had always felt at being able to control older men like this. Slowly, Sirius sank to his knees, allowing Andrew's hard cock to rub against his body as he knelt. This was a trick he had learnt from Will in all those hours in the squat.. It had driven him wild, and Sirius smiled slightly when he heard Andrew emit a low, guttural moan above him._

_The friction created when Sirius rubbed down him almost sent Andrew over the edge. He wanted Sirius to move faster, but didn't want to ask him in case he appeared too eager and not in control. He fastened his hands in Sirius' hair for support and breathed heavily as he felt a wet tongue flicker over his cock head. _

_Sirius usually enjoyed giving head. He was good at it; he had had lots of practice after all. He started slowly, flicking his tongue over the leaking cock head, smiling slightly in satisfaction when he felt Andrew's hands tighten in his hair. He gathered saliva into his mouth to counter the slightly bitter taste of the man's cock but found that it wasn't too bad. Clearly Andrew kept himself clean, which was more than could be said for some cocks he'd taken. Diverting his attention back to the task at hand, Sirius rubbed the balls in his hands and firmly moved his thumbs up the thick underside of the cock, keeping his tongue rolling over the head at the same time. As Andrew's breathing hitched, Sirius enveloped the whole head in his mouth, licking the foreskin and sucking gently to apply pressure. His hands kept up their work, but occasionally moved down to rub the tops of his thighs or his arse cheeks. He had done this so often he barely needed to think about it. _

_Andrew opened his eyes and looked down at Sirius, who had now moved his mouth down to take nearly the whole cock into the warm wetness. Andrews breathing grew heavier as he felt Sirius' tongue rolling around his cock, combined with a constant sucking pressure._

_Sirius felt the older man's gaze on him, so he looked up at him seductively, keeping his cock in his mouth the whole time. Locking eye contact with Andrew, he let his eyes droop slightly as though he was in pure ecstasy and quickened his pace, bobbing his mouth over the cock faster. _

_Andrew gazed into Sirius' cool grey eyes and wiped the boy's fringe away with one hand. Sirius' skin felt refreshingly cool compared to his own, which was flushed and sweaty already. He jerked his hips, pushing his cock further into the younger boy's mouth._

_Sirius, caught off guard, gagged slightly but managed to push back the reflex to spit the cock out. Instead, he relaxed his throat and just went with it, moving his hands up to grip Andrew's hips and allowing him to fuck his mouth. _

_Andrew could feel tension building in his abdomen and realised with a jolt that he was much closer to coming than he thought he was. Regretting it instantly, he suddenly pulled out of Sirius' mouth, his weeping cock slick with spit and pre-come. _

_Confused, Sirius looked up, licking his lips clean. He sat back, hands resting lightly on his thighs, cock standing between his toned legs. One look at Andrew though soon cleared up his confusion as he realised what the older man wanted._

_Andrew knew he couldn't wait. He grabbed Sirius' shoulders and pulling him roughly up, his heart quickening at the surprised look on the boy's face. He threw him sideways onto the plush king-sized bed and Sirius landed softly on the grey silken sheets._

_He turned over to lie on his back, propping himself up on his elbows, one leg bent and his cock standing hard. "Well?" he watched Andrew march over to the cabinet, trying to move quickly to cover up his shaking limbs. _

_He opened the top draw and moved his underwear aside, before uncovering and pulling out a crumpled pack of condoms, half empty. Pulling one out, he turned back to the bed only to be faced by the most attractive image he had ever seen, one that made his cock twitch in anticipation. The younger boy was stretched out on his back, surveying Andrew through heavy lidded eyes. He had an aristocratic look about him, one that was exacerbated by the apparent ease he felt in this situation. He clearly knew what he was doing, a thought which had strengthened Andrew's resolve to use a condom. His slender shoulders tapered down to an even more slender waist, which dipped slightly below the ribs. His stomach rose and fell lightly as he breathed and he cocked a head to one side, his onyx fringe falling back down over one eye. Andrew's gaze fell on the boy's hard cock, which stood up strait, a light dusting of black hair at the base of it, a slight trail of which led up to his bellybutton. He could resist no longer. He walked purposefully forward until he stood at the base of the bed, gazing down, enraptured, at the boy below him._

_Sirius was quite comfortable with Andrew looking at him so unashamedly. He knew he didn't look his best having been at the receiving end of his father's displeasure for a week now, but he knew he still looked good. He also knew just what would turn Andrew on even now. Slowly, he bit his lip, still gazing up at the older man through thick lashes, and opened his legs invitingly. One leg lay flat and one was bent but the movement displayed his cock and testicles openly to the older man._

_Andrew could see the curve of Sirius' arse underneath his testicles and needed no further invitation. He moved forward and knelt on the bed between Sirius' legs as the younger boy lay flat back on the bed, his hands behind his head. Placing the condom on the sheets, Andrew gripped each leg with one hand and pushed Sirius' legs up towards his chest and even further apart, displaying his cock completely. Andrew grabbed Sirius' feet and rested them against his shoulders._

_Sirius got the hint and pushed his feet lightly against Andrew's shoulders, as the older man pushed back so that the position could be held. _

_Andrew rubbed both hands over Sirius' upper thighs and the area where thigh meets pelvis. He ran his hands firmly over the boys cock and testicles, revelling in the shudder this caused Sirius to make. His hands then slipped down to prise Sirius' arse cheeks apart and one finger found his hole. _

_When Sirius felt the finger probe his tight rim, he let out a sigh of pleasure. This was what he enjoyed – being dominated by another, preferably older, man. If he bothered to think about it, it was really all he had known. These thoughts were driven from his mind when the finger pushed further inside him._

"_Relax," the mad above him grunted._

_Sirius hadn't even noticed that his abdominal muscles were clenched tightly, so he quickly relaxed then and a second finger quickly joined the first. They moved in and out, scissoring at the same time to stretch him. He heard the older man gather spit in his mouth and spat it thickly onto his fingers to act as lubricant. He pushed the slick fingers back inside Sirius, who was now wet and ready._

_Andrew moved quickly, now just wanting to fuck the boy, and fuck him hard. The foreplay had made him so horny that he was using all his willpower not to simply come all over the boy's stomach. He overlooked the fact that Sirius was prepared and stretched very quickly, and that this probably meant he had done a lot of this in the past. All that filled his mind now was the urgent need to fuck now and the mind-numbingly good groans that Sirius was making. Pulling his fingers out, Andrew fumbled for the condom which had slid under one of Sirius' arse cheeks, quickly unwrapped it and rolled it on. He returned his hands to Sirius' thighs, pushed them back to hook over his shoulders and exposed his open hole. Taking a moment to rub his aching cock up and down Sirius's crack, the boy underneath him squirmed in pleasure at the contact. He leant further over Sirius, resting on his hands which were placed palm down on the bed either side of Sirius' abdomen._

_Sirius' hands unconsciously moved up to tightly grip the older man's upper arms for support as he felt the rubbery cock head push at his entrance. Relaxing and shifting his legs further apart, Andrew suddenly applied enough pressure for his cock to break through the rim and push fully into the younger boy._

_Sirius cried out with sudden pleasure. He was glad Andrew had gone straight in because he was more than ready for a good hard fuck. "Wait," he gasped. Now that the cock was in and buried to the hilt in Sirius' hot body, he wanted to reposition himself. He removed his legs from behind Andrew's shoulders and Andrew shifted his arms outward slightly to give Sirius enough room to bring his legs down so that they were wrapped around the older man's waist. This was Sirius' favourite and most intimate position. He loved to keep eye contact with the man he was fucking._

_When the younger boy stilled, Andrew began to jerk his hips heavily. The legs around his waist tightened and he shifted down onto his elbows do his torso was merely inches away from Sirius'. Closing his eyes and grunting heavily, he fucked the younger boy quickly and hard, his balls slapping noisily against Sirius' arse cheeks. _

_Sirius panted heavily every time he felt the thick cock rub against his prostate although the feeling was slightly dulled by the condom. He clenched his arse muscles to tighten around the cock and felt the man shudder in ecstasy above him. _

_Opening his eyes again, Andrew's heated gaze met Sirius' hazy one. Jerking his head down, he caught the younger boy's lips in a fiery, bruising kiss._

_Sirius broke the kiss accidently as he opened his mouth to gasp against Andrew's as a particularly hard drive really hit the spot. The older man grinned and licked Sirius' bottom lip. Sirius sucked his bottom lip back and the kiss continued until the increased rhythm made it impossible. _

_Andrew drove in and out faster and harder but was finding the position difficult to take control in. He wanted a harder fuck than this, so, much to Sirius' anger, he suddenly pulled out and flipped the younger boy over. Grabbing his slender hips in a firm grip, he yanked Sirius up onto his hands and knees, and with no further warning, he pushed straight back into the younger boy's body. _

_Sirius was so stretched by now that the suddenness of this didn't hurt him in the slightest, so he shifted down onto his elbows with his arse in the air to give the older man better access._

_Andrew gripped Sirius' hips so hard that the younger boy knew they would bruise by the morning. He pounded into him as Sirius arched up to meet the touch. Their bodies were slick with sweat and Sirius' damp hair hung around his flushed face. _

_Sirius's own hard cock was now weeping pre-come and demanded attention. He reached down and masturbated himself hard while the man above him thundered into him again and again. Suddenly, Sirius felt his own hand batted out of the way by a browner, larger one as Andrew reached round to masturbate for him. Sirius returned his shaking hand to the sheet while his cock ached as the hand rubbed continuously over the extra-sensitive head. He twitched, knowing he was about to come. "I'm gonna come..." he grunted, not knowing if he was even intelligible. The hand didn't stop, but quickened its pace. Sirius's hands gripped the sheets, screwing them up as he came heavily, panting and looking down to see white strings of semen shoot out from his cock and coat both Andrew's hand and the sheets. Sirius twisted round and looked over his shoulder at the older man, flushed from his orgasm. He grabbed the retreating hand and brought it to his lips, licking his semen of the older man's fingers._

_Andrew groaned, the hot mouth sucking his fingers bringing him closer to climax. He returned his wet hand to the boys hip so he could pound into him even harder and faster, and Sirius turned away again, grunting as the slick cock slid in and out of him._

_He could feel the man above him grow close to the edge; his jerks grew spontaneous and uncontrolled. To help him along, Sirius tightened his arse muscles again and heard the older man cry out as he came, long streams of semen spewing into the condom. His hips jerked randomly a few more times until he collapsed, exhausted, onto the younger boy._

_Sirius too was too shattered to even attempt to push the heavy man off him. He was content to simply lie there, enjoying the feeling of the cock, which was rapidly turning flaccid, still in his body. _

_Slowly, Andrew pulled out of him and rolled over to lie beside him on the bed. He reached down and pulled the used condom off his limp cock, and let it fall with a soft dunk, heavy from semen, on the carpet. _

_They lay still, the only sound in the room their heavy breathing._

_Sirius closed his eyes, exhaustion pushing him further towards sleep. He barely noticed the hot body press up against him and the sheet drawn over the two of them before he finally fell asleep for the first time in what felt like months. _

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_As the late morning light filtered through the heavy Venetian blinds, Andrew was the first to be roused from sleep. His first thought was of the gorgeous guy he had fucked the night before, followed by a slight relief that he was still here; at least he hadn't nicked the television and left in the night. _

_Andrew could feel a warm body pressed against his and opened his eyes to see that he was pushed up against the younger boys back. Gently untangling himself from the mess of limbs and sheets, he slipped out of bed and pulled on some pyjama bottoms. Fumbling for the used condom on the floor, he padded into the en-suit and put it in the bid. Emerging again in his bedroom, he decided that a quick tide-up was in order. _

_He glanced back at Sirius to check that he hadn't woken him. He hadn't; he was still sleeping soundly on his side, ruffled hair splayed across the pillow and a single sheet over his hip. Andrew moved across the room, gently scooping up Sirius' clothes as quietly as he could. He retrieved a sock from near the bed and glanced up at Sirius' sleeping face, which now faced him._

_Oh. There was no way that now, in the daylight and off-guard, Sirius looked eighteen. Slightly worried, Andrew left the room with the younger boy's clothes and desperately hoped that Sirius was seventeen and absolutely no younger. Back in the living room, he crossed to the leather sofa and dumped Sirius's clothes onto it. He placed the Nike high-top trainers on the floor and proceeded to fold his clothes carefully on the sofa. He glanced at the cardigan label. Marc by Marc Jacobs. Brow furrowed, Andrew peered back into the bedroom to gaze at the sleeping boy. He wondered how Sirius could possibly afford that if he was happy to be picked up by strange men. Pushing the thought from his mind and knowing that really it was none of his business, he moved on to fold up Sirius' jeans. A faint rustling caught his attention, so, after glancing quickly back into the bedroom, he slipped one hand into a pocket and withdrew a small plastic bag of brown power. He knew what it was and didn't know why he was so surprised. Quickly stuffing it back into the pocket, he lay the jeans down on the pile of folded clothes, then moved round the room collecting his own._

_With the apartment straight again, he collected The Times from outside his front door and went about making breakfast. While frying some bacon and eggs, he wondered why he felt disheartened about finding the drugs in Sirius' jeans. Did he really presume that Sirius was as angelic as he looked? A part of him hoped that he would be, but he knew that this reality was hardly surprising. He couldn't bring it up though._

_A slight noise made him look up as Sirius stuck his tussled head round the door, spotted Andrew and smiled. He had the sheet wrapped around his slim waist and held in place with one hand. The bright sunlight from the tall windows behind Andrew hit his face and made him blink. Andrew's suspicions were confirmed; he definitely wasn't eighteen._

"_Morning," he said, yawning. _

_Andrew's heart sped up slightly just looking at him, and he greeted him back. "I've made breakfast. I didn't know what you'd like but you can't go wrong with a good fry up." He scraped the eggs and bacon onto two plates, collected the toast and coffee, and placed a plate in front of Sirius. _

"_What time is it?" asked Sirius thickly, still not completely awake._

"_Ten thirty," Andrew replied. "I've only just woken up too. Lucky that it's a Saturday."_

_Sirius slid into a chair at the breakfast bar and noticed the paper. "Is this today's?" _

_Andrew nodded, surprised that someone like Sirius would be interested in current affairs. To add to his shock, Sirius turned straight to the business pages and began reading. _

_Noticing Andrew's expression, Sirius looked up, smiling in amusement. "Didn't expect me to read the paper then?" he asked. _

_Andrew shrugged. "Not really, to be honest," he said, buttering the toast and inviting Sirius to do the same. "But I didn't expect you to have a Marc by Marc Jacobs cashmere cardigan either," he added, smiling._

_Sirius followed his gaze to look behind his at his neatly folded clothes. Oh. He desperately hoped Andrew hadn't looked though his pockets. Turning back to the older man, he wiped any sign of worry off his face and shrugged. "It's really old," he lied, hoping that was a good enough explanation. It wasn't old; he had ordered it from Paris barely two weeks before._

_Andrew nodded and turned back to his breakfast, not sure whether to believe the younger boy or not. _

_They passed the rest of breakfast in silence; Sirius read the paper and wolfed down his breakfast, taking advantage of the first solid meal he'd eaten in a few days, while Andrew ate his, continuously glancing up at the other boy._

_When they had finished, Andrew placed their mugs and plates in the sink. "I've got some things to do in London, so I can drop you off if you like."_

_Sirius thought about how much money he had. Less than a fiver. That could get him a train ticket but wouldn't leave enough for lunch. The lift was a far more attractive offer. "Sure," he said._

_Andrew smiled and retreated to the bedroom to get dressed._

_Once alone, Sirius unwrapped the sheet from around his waist, layed it over the arm of the sofa and quickly got dressed. He picked up his trainers and slipped them on while peering out of the kitchen window at the street below. It looked like a hot summers day, so he didn't bother with this cardigan. _

_Andrew reappeared wearing jeans and a white shirt, open at the collar. He picked up his car keys from the work surface. "Ready?"_

_Sirius nodded and straightened up. He glanced round the apartment again to check he had everything, collected his cardigan and followed Andrew into the hallway._

_In the car, driving back through the outskirts of London, there was a slight tension in the car. Neither of them really knew what to talk about, or if they should talk at all. Andrew didn't think it was possible to even look at Sirius without being reminded of their sex the night before. Finally, he said, "Where do you want me to drop you?"_

_Sirius shrugged, turning to face him. "I don't mind, wherever's easiest for you."_

"_Is outside Pimlico Station alright?"_

"_Yeah, that's great," said Sirius, thinking that it was at least on the Victoria line, so he could get back into the city centre quickly. _

_Andrew pulled up round the corner from the station. He needed to get back home before Michelle returned from her mother's. "Last night was wonderful," he said._

_Sirius smiled and nodded. "I'll see you around, maybe," he said, leaving the suggestion hanging in the air. Quickly, he leant over and gave the older man a lingering kiss on the lips, before getting out of the car and slamming the door quickly behind him. As he moved off, Andrew called him back, winding down the driver's window._

"_Sirius, take care of yourself," he said, blushing slightly and trying not to sound patronising._

_Sirius opened his mouth to answer back but suddenly felt several crisp notes pressed into his hand. Before he could question it, Andrew had driven away. _

_Sirius looked down at the notes in his hand. £30. Without looking back at the retreating car, he disappeared into the underground station. _

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Sirius jumped out of his reverie as a car pulled up beside him. He realised that he was hunched slightly as the chilly evening had settled in without him realising it. He stood up, recognised the man behind the wheel and got in without a second thought.

How time's had changed. That first paid fuck with Andrew had set up false expectations of safety and easy cash in picking up a guy. How quickly the illusion had shattered.

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Hope you enjoyed! Please review because I want to know if structuring it like this makes sense. I'll move onto his family next chapter I think, to get the background story going a bit more. And to clarify, the story will be mostly in flashbacks until I work up for present day (figuratively).

Sorry for taking so long and thanks for the lovely reviews!


	3. Under Oath

"James, for goodness sake, get down here before I give your bacon to the dog!"

The pillow clenched resolutely over his head did nothing to drown out the shouts from his mother. Grumbling loudly about force-feeding, he stumbled out of bed and slouched down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Good god woman, this had better be worth it," he grumbled, ignoring the Prophet which was slapped on his head and dug into his plate of bacon and pancakes.

"What are you going to do today darling?" asked his mother.

James shrugged. "Spose I'd better go to Diagon Alley. Need books and what not." He wasn't too enthusiastic about this. Remus and Peter were on holiday and Sirius – well, Sirius wasn't there anymore. Anger gnawed at his stomach but he kept his face straight, not wanting to have to evade his parent's questions once again about exactly why none of them were talking to Sirius.

Clearing his plate and clanging it down in the sink, he saw no reason to mope about the house and flooed to The Nags Head as quickly as possible. He didn't exactly fancy shopping with his mother either.

Armed with a bag of gold, he wandered aimlessly up the Alley, nodding at people he recognised from school and scowling at the odd Slytherin.

Suddenly, a familiar face caught his eye and his stomach churned in nervousness. He could have sworn he had seen Sirius in the distance. Glancing round a group of middle aged witches, he recognised the aristocratic features of Orion Black, Sirius' father. But risking a second glance, he realised that Sirius was not with him, only his younger brother, Regulus. As he realised this, Regulus looked up and caught his eye.

This would not have been a strange occurrence, but Regulus' expression turned from coolness to shock in a split-second. James noted with confusion that Regulus seemed to be staring around the spot that James was standing in. Wondering vaguely about what type of weirdo Sirius had had to grow up with and feeling slightly unnerved, James darted into Flourish and Blotts.

A few minutes later, while perusing a special collector's edition of _Quidditch Through The Ages_, James glanced up. To his annoyance, across the shop he spied Regulus, loitering behind a large display of _Enchantments in Baking._ Realising that he had been spotted, Regulus quickly grabbed a copy and pretended to read the back of it, feigning a look of great interest.

James snorted, knowing full well that like Sirius, Regulus would have never even ventured into the kitchen in his family house. Irritated, he placed his book back on the shelf and made a quick exit. He was no longer in the mood to be stalked so he marched back to The Leaky Cauldron with all intention on making a quick exit.

"James Potter?"

The urgent voice stopped him in his tracks. Spinning around, he saw Regulus Black standing a few meters away. He was pleased to note that Regulus at least had the decency to look slightly sheepish after following him for a good ten minutes.

"Can I help you?" he asked a bit forcefully, hands in his pockets and a scowl on his face. James was in no mood to chat happily to a Slytherin, especially one who bore a striking, if not quite so lucky, resemblance to someone he was trying to forget.

Regulus shifted awkwardly, hesitating. "Can I have a quick word?"

James eyebrows shot up. A word? What on earth had he got to say, considering the two of them had barely spoken in their lives? It was Sirius who usually dealt with Regulus after all. "Err… sure."

Regulus nodded over to an empty table in a little enclave. James felt a little foolish following sheepishly behind but his curiosity had been spiked.

"How is he?" asked Regulus, suddenly turning to him. He spoke in an urgent, low tone, glancing around to check that they couldn't be heard.

James wasn't entirely sure he had heard properly, and fully sure that he had no idea what the guy was on about. "Err… who?"

Regulus looked as shocked as James was confused. "Sirius!" He was staring at James as though he was completely mad.

More than a little irritated for being taken as a fool, James snapped, "How the hell would I know? Just in case you hadn't noticed, I haven't actually spoken to your brother for nearly three months."

Unless it was James' imagination, Regulus' face seemed to lose what little colour it had. He now resembled something close to a guppy out of water. "You… not." He took a heavy breath. "You meant you haven't seen him?"

Now far more confused, James shook his head. "No. Why? What's going on?" A feeling of unease was growing painfully in his chest, no matter how hard he tried to push it back down.

Regulus seemed to let out a shuddering breath and sank slowly down onto the chair behind him. It was almost as if he had deflated. His usual act of haughty arrogance seemed to wilt away. "Oh good god," he muttered, more to himself than to James. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and started to breath heavily.

In alarm, James thought the younger Black was about to cry and now feeling vaguely sick himself, he sunk down into a chair next to him. "Err… Regulus?" The first name sounded foreign on his lips. "Why are you asking me this? Sure- Surely you knew we'd fallen out?"

Regulus looked desperately at him. "Potter… Sirius ran away over three weeks ago! I… I thought he was with you…"

James stomach seemed to suddenly drop to the region of his pelvis. He felt sick. He was shaking his head vaguely but his mind seemed to have gone oddly blank with shock. "I- I… don't you know where he is?"

"No," said Regulus quietly, looking all of a sudden like a lost and helpless child. James felt a rush of pity towards him, realising in one fell swoop that Regulus must have cared a lot for his older brother. "He had a huge argument with mother and father. Awful."

"About what?"

"Mother- mother found out he was… was queer." Regulus took a gulp and looked directly at James to see if this was news to him.

"Ah."

"You knew?" Regulus looked surprised.

James laughed humourlessly. "Of course I did. He told us years ago."

Regulus' eyebrows shot up. "And you didn't mind, you know- sharing a room with him for years?"

James let out a snort which bordered on genuine mirth this time. "If Sirius wanted to shag one of us he's have made it happen whether we were in his dorm or not. Any anyway, I had guessed he was from about second year." James shook his head, the nervousness returning once again. "What did your parents do?"

"Mother went mental. It was so much worse than- than usual." He rubbed his face again wearily. "He's such a _fucking _idiot. He could have tried it on with anyone, but I course he had to go for someone who was bound to tell mother. Push the boundaries _again_."

"So that's how she found out?"

Regulus nodded glumly. "Unforgivable in her eyes, especially when you're meant to produce heirs. He was made to go to father's study when he got in. Wasn't looking good anyway. Too much coke probably."

"What? I didn't think he did that regularly."

Regulus looked confused. "Potter, Sirius is a complete drugged up mess. I can't remember the last time I've seen him and he's been completely straight. It's been like this for years in the holidays… Sirius coming in fucked and unable to function and me having to make him throw up, or bathe him and stuff… he really needs looking after. And of course the more he argues with mother and father the more they punish him so the more he takes."

James felt it was time to ask the question that he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "Um… how was he punished?"

Regulus looked utterly miserable. "Mother did the usual. Cruciatus. But so much longer."

"He's mentioned that she's used that on him before," said James quietly, remembering a particularly harrowing piece of information Sirius let slip in forth year when he's been spectacularly drunk.

"Yeah… but his screams. Echoed. It was awful. And then they put a silencing charm on the room and mother left a few minutes later." Regulus looked like he was about to cry. "I don't know what happened after that. I didn't want to get involved."

"Oh you didn't did you?" snapped James, anger flaring in him like a wild fire.

This seemed to anger Regulus too for some reason. He sat very straight and almost hissed a reply at James. "You don't know what it's like. _You've _never bothered to find out, have you? Hearing them argue all the time and knowing that you'll have to be the one to scrape him off the floor or take him to St. Mungo's because no one else is going to do it!" He seemed to sag slightly and gripped his knees tightly.

"St. Mungo's? What…?" James wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Regulus shook his head. "Oh the usual. Broken rips, wrist." He looked up at James suddenly. "Look, I know how this all sounds but my parents aren't awful people. Sirius- Sirius isn't an easy son to have, especially if you're in their position. Socially."

"And you actually believe that?"

Regulus hesitated for a split-second. "Yes."

James shook his head in shock. "Your family is so fucked up. Most parents don't punch their kids goodnight."

"Look, I didn't want a lecture from you on parenting techniques. Sirius is fucking missing and if you hadn't fallen out with him when he was clearly in a bad way last term anyway then I would know exactly where he is right now." Regulus' angry eyes shone with tears briefly before he blinked quickly, finally breaking eye contact with James.

Regulus' words flooded James with guilt. Had they been too harsh? "Sirius was fine last term," he said firmly, but as the words left his mouth he realised that that wasn't strictly true. Now he thought about it Sirius had been slightly down for a while. More snappy and temperamental but he'd always been prone to this, so James had barely noticed.

Regulus snorted. "And you claim to know him well, do you? Mother had been increasing her threats to send him to Durmstrang. She thought the right-wing politics would help him."

James sighed in desperate exasperation. "This is ridiculous. Where is he?"

"I don't know," murmured Regulus in a very small voice. "I need you to help me." He turned and stared James straight in the eye. "There's nothing I can do."

He sounded so helpless that James felt his anger melt away to be replaced with pity once again. "Regulus… seriously. I'll find him. I have to. He's – he's my best mate, isn't he?" He smiled slightly, realising that whatever contempt he had felt towards Sirius had completely evaporated.

Regulus' face contorted into something that was half a smile and half a grimace of misery. "Thank you."

They both stood up.

"I must find my father," said Regulus, glancing around once more. He gave James a direct and thankful look, before turning on his heel and retreating to the entrance of Diagon Alley.

James watched him go, understanding at once how awful the past three weeks must have been for the younger Black. A wave of shock and guilt washed over him, before he was almost drowned under a rising tide of panic. How could they all have been so stupid to have misunderstood Sirius so much last term? He had acted awfully… but was there a reason?

His breath coming in hurried and panicked gasps, James stumbled to the public fireplace and after fumbling for coins to pay for his journey with shaky hands, he flooed straight home.

Sorry for the gap between updates! Uni life doesn't leave much time for updating.

Without sounding too desperate, please please let me know what you think! Hoping that this will move the plot line on more


	4. Dispelling Memories

"_Why are you so distressed Sirius? You act like a whore anyway; why is this any different? … Act like a whore…. A whore…. A whore…"_

Sirius woke with a jolt, his father's voice still ringing in his ears. He lay, eyes staring vacantly at the ceiling, feeling his heart banging quickly in his chest. He shook his head quickly to wake himself up and forced the memory of that awful conversation back down. He never thought about these things if he could possible avoid it. Instead, he sat up carefully, trying not to wake Ollie, who lay sprawled beside him on the dingy mattress. He pushed himself to his feet, checked that Ollie was still unconscious, and crept from the room, attempting to knead a knot from his lower back.

He had crashed for the night in a squat just off Commercial Street in Shoreditch. It was one of the rougher ones, used by anyone and everyone and he had been lucky that Ollie had been there already, saving a space on the mattress. He walked through piles of empty and moulding food debris, scattered with used needles and drug paraphernalia, realising with a grin of irony how quickly he had come to take such grime as the norm. His mother would be appalled. The grin quickly fell from his face. He followed the sound of conversation downstairs, remembering to jump the rotten ones in a move similar to dodging the sinking stairs at Hogwarts. Again, he pushed the thought of Hogwarts down, not ready to face that which he might never see again.

"… she looked like a right fuckin' mess mate. Blood everywhere…"

He recognised the voice as that of Sid, one of the many squatters he now knew. Reaching the ground floor of the disused house, he saw Sid sitting in the open doorway with another man who he didn't recognise from behind. Hearing movement behind him, Sid glanced back and absently waved his spliff in the air as a greeting. Sirius walked over, jumping a pool of water from the leaking roof.

He sat down heaving on the step next to Sid, squinting his eyes at the sudden brightness of the light outside. "Morning."

Sid passed him the spliff and Sirius took a drag. "Not quite. It's about 1 mate."

"Oh is it?" asked Sirius, surprised he's managed to sleep for so long. He took another drag.

"Yeah, we heard the bells go." Sid nodded in the vague direction of Christ Church, next to the market. "This is Mitchell. Dunno if you know him."

Sirius looked past Sid to the man sitting next to him. He vaguely recognised the dreadlocked hair and the tattoos which crept up past his collar.

Mitchell grinned, baring his gappy teeth. "Alright mate! Haven't seen you since that party at Julia's. Mental night."

Sirius smiled back, realising why he recognised Mitchell. "Mental. That MD you sold me was off, you know? I was out for two days." He handed the spliff back to Sid.

Mitchell shrugged but had the decency to look slightly guilty. "Ah you know how it is. Can't control everything that comes my way." He rummaged in the inside pocket of his well-work jacket. "Look, have this here. Would hate to lose an esteemed customer like yourself."

He passed over a small 5g bag of coke with a slight florish, making a passing reference to the unlikely poshness of Sirius' voice. Sid laughed.

Sirius took it, dipped a finger inside and gave it a quick taste. The citrus tang was about right. "Thanks." He scooped up a small mound on the back of his thumb-nail, glanced up and down the street to check it was clear and snorted it quickly. The buzz was instantaneous and wiped out all lingering jitters from his nightmare. He pushed the bag into his pocket and fished out £20. "Might as well take a bit more off you."

Mitchell grinned and fished a larger bag out of his pocket. "Pleasure to do business with you, Sir." He passed it over and took Sirius' money with a grubby hand. "Right, what were you saying Sid?"

"Oh yeah. Well, she was just screamin' and screamin' at him. Looked mental. Calling him a druggy cunt and all that."

"Who's this?" asked Sirius, leaning back against the doorframe and stretching his legs out to catch the summer sun.

"Maud, friend of Julia. Had a nasty fight with her fella last night."

"I know Maud," said Sirius.

"Bet ya do," said Mitchell, grinning. "Sounds like half the men in London know Maud."

Sirius grinned, not really listening but enjoying the coke buzz now whistling through his system.

Sid barked out a laugh, flicking the butt of his spliff out into the road and pulling out a pouch of tobacco to roll another. "Sirius? Not likely."

Mitchell caught on and laughed too. "Oh yeah… spose not mate. Forgot about your sexual circumstances. Yeah, so some bitch on the other side of the road called the police and everyone scarpered fast like."

Sirius lit a cigarette. "Where were they?"

"We were at a party at her fella's. You ever met Kaz?"

"Yeah. Huge guy, just out of Wormwood, right?"

"That's the one. He doesn't like you, just thought I'd point out."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "And why not. I've never spoken to him."

Sid grinned, lighting his new spliff. "Don't need to. He took one look at your pretty little face and said he didn't want you around Maud. He doesn't care that you're a fag mate," he added, guessing Sirius's next question.

Sirius grunted an unimpressed reply, but decided that keeping away from this Kaz was probably a good idea. He looked like the type you wouldn't want to pick a fight with.

Mitchell continued. "Yeah, so Maud bursts in to the party, completely mashed and picks a fight with 'im. Stupid fuckin' idea if you ask me. So he slapper her round the face coz he's just been told that she's been fucking this guy he used to be mates with. Turner nasty though, he threw her out into the street, which is where this woman saw Maud with all the blood and phoned the cops."

"Where you there?" Sirius asked, knowing that Mitchell's stories tended to be exaggerated.

"Yeah. Wish I wasn't though. We was all just sitting in silence, not sure whether to get involved or not. Can never tell what Kaz is thinking. Yeah, so the cops turn up and Julia's still high. We're all getting' out of there fast, but we can here her from the other end of the street, screaming that Kaz has a pound of grass in his warbrobe. So they pile up the stairs and find it and four of them have to drag Kaz into the back of the cop car. He's only been out of prison for a month."

Sid was shaking his head. "Wouldn't be surprised if Maud turns up in a body-bag."

"Me neither,'` said Mitchell.

Sid offered Sirius the spliff again, but he waved it away. He was enjoying his high enough. They sat in silence for a few moments before Sirius' restlessness became too much and he got up suddenly. "Right, got to love you and leave you."

"That was a bit gay Sirius," muttered Sid.

Sirius laughed, hopping back up into the building and leaving them to find his jacket and see if Ollie was awake. He knew that the guys tended to be wary around some of the openly homosexual guys who occasionally hung about, and sometimes expressed open dislike. But they liked Sirius as he was funny if he was high, and more importantly, he didn't come across gay at all. Sirius knew this, but also knew that his sexuality often made guys dislike him more purely because they saw his straight persona as a deception and a threat. James, Remus and Peter hadn't though. He frowned as his thoughts trailed to when he had told them…

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_He had known for sure for about a year. Ever since he had lost his virginity at aged twelve to a family friend while on holiday in Bavaria. The boy had been three years older, and very experienced. It had been the perfect first time in many ways. Instructive, not too painful, and with no emotional or awkward consequences. Sirius' family had been staying with an important German wizarding family in their Bavarian castle. There had been some flirting, mostly on the other boy's side. Then there had been some stolen vodka, a little fumbling in the downstairs bathroom and on the second from last night of their stay, he had been fucked for the first time in one of the numerous guest bedrooms. _

_This brief encounter solidified for Sirius a supressed desire for other boys. He had been aware of his feelings while in his second year at Hogwarts, especially due to what James jokingly called his 'unhealthy obsession' with Muggle footballers. James clearly didn't realise how spot on he had been. Or, as it turned out, he had been very aware. _

_Sirius returned to Hogwarts for his third year with this new realisation hanging over his head. He remembered now sick with nerves he had been the night when all four of them were lounging in their dormitory and discussing Alicia Turner's newly developed breasts. Well' three of them had been avidly discussing the joys of female puberty while Sirius had sat awkwardly, knowing on his lip and restlessly fiddling with the corner of his quilt. _

"_You alright, Siri?" Remus had asked, and Sirius had been sure there had been a quick exchange of a knowing look between him and James. _

_He had been extremely aware that it was now or never. He had felt physically sick. But in his typical bluntness, he had just said it. "I'm gay."_

_He remembered the absoluteness of the silence that had followed this statement. And he was aware of no one looking at him, but rather James and Remus gazing at each other in stunned silence. _

"_Oh my god," James had said. "We were right!"_

_This had snapped Sirius out of his miserable silence. "What? You knew?"_

_James and Remus had laughed suddenly, with Peter joining in. "We suspected something," admitted Remus. "Why else were you always so disappointed if you got a detention with Slughorn rather than his handsome assistant?"_

_They all laughed again, and the tension broke. Sirius felt slightly hopeful, feeling for the first time that his revelation could go well, rather than cause the resentment, anger and expulsion from their dorm that he had imagined. "Don't you care?"_

"_Nah," said Remus. "As long as you promise not to try and seduce us in the middle of the night. Or give us too many details when you finally sleep with a man."_

_He laughed along with James and Peter, but Sirius silenced them when he said, " I already have."_

_The silence that followed this revelation was somehow more absolute than the previous one. _

"_What?" Peter had asked, as though it had never occurred to them that Sirius could have had sex so young._

"_Why didn't you tell us?" cried James indignantly._

"_I just did."_

"_That doesn't bloody count! When? Where? With who?"_

_Smiling despite his fading nerves, Sirius had sketched out the vague details. _

_The others had been stunned, and rightly so. They debated whether Sirius was the first in their year to lose his virginity, decided that he was and then a well timed question from Peter caused a heated discussion over whether losing it to a guy even counted. But Sirius hadn't cared. What mattered was that they knew, and they didn't mind._

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Sirius realised now, and too late, that this acceptance of his sexuality was extremely rare, especially within a group of straight boys. He knew that this secret, combined with their acceptance of Remus' lycanthropy that had been revealed six months later, was partly why their friendship was so strong. _Had _been so strong, Sirius thought bitterly, _ until I fucked it all up when… _he snorted another mound of coke to fight back these far more recent and uncomfortable memories.

It was time to wake up Ollie, make some dirty money, and if it all went to plan, get hold of a little heroin so he could spend his night in a haze unaffected by memory.

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Sorry about the delay! More soon I promise!


	5. Joining Forces

**Missing!**

**Sirus Orion Black**

**Height: 5ft 10**

**Hair: Dark brown, mid-length**

**Eyes: Grey**

**Sirius has been missing since 20****th**** June. He was last seen wearing black Levi jeans, a white t-shirt, dark hooded jacket and Nike trainers. He has several scars on his forearms, as well as a deep one on the underside of his right bicep. He has two closed piercings in his right ear.**

**Contact: Charles Potter, 0207 5943599**

James had written the message out as neatly as possible, and glued a large photograph of Sirius below it. He had searched through a small box of photographs before finding one that was recent and a relatively clear shot of Sirius' face. His father had enlarged it and frozen it, making it suitable for Muggle distribution.

James had flooed home immediately after his encounter with Regulus the day before and blurted the story out to his parents. It was during this explanation that the true reality of the situation fully dawned on James. Sirius was missing and estranged from his large and very powerful family. James had panicked. His mother had burst into tears. His father's mouth had set into a grim line as he realised he had sensed no worry in the face of Orion Black when he had passed him in a corridor in the Ministry several days before.

Hugh Potter waved his wand and the original 'Lost' poster duplicated into a pile of sheets. "I think we need to start with the Muggle hospitals. It is unlikely that Sirius would have left London but it seems as though he has disappeared off the Wizarding map." He handed a tissue to his wife and managed to stay determinedly calm in spite of his deep feeling of unease at the situation.

Rachel Potter wiped her eyes, streaking the tissue with mascara. "I knew we should have taken him in two summers ago." She bit her lip, feeling more guilty than she ever had before. It was a feeling matched by her son.

"I didn't realise things were so bad at home for him," muttered James. But thinking back to the occasion two summers previously, when Sirius had arrived unannounced at their house with a split lip and black eye, he realised that the tell-tale signs of abuse had always been there. "If Sirius wants to evade a question, he's good at it." But he realised that this wasn't completely true. His parents had asked how Sirius had got his bruises when he was fourteen and he had been truthful. James now wondered if this lapse in secrecy was a cry for help, and his stomach squirmed in guilt when he remembered how he and his parents had allowed Sirius to go back home after spending a few days recovering at their house.

Hugh squeezed James' arm reassuringly. "We will go and speak to Dumbledore immediately, and then start handing these out to the hospitals. I'm sure Dumbledore will be able to think of something."

James nodded, knowing that if anyone were to help, Dumbledore would be their best bet.

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Professor Dumbledore had been completing his correspondence to a colleague in France when his empty fire grate suddenly lit up with emerald flames, announcing an arrival by floo. He looked up to see Hugh Potter spin into the grate and step out into the Headmaster's office, closely followed by James.

Dumbledore put down his quill in surprise. "Mr Potter, Hugh. What a pleasant surprise!" he greeted them jovially, standing to shake Hugh's hand. One look at their faces, however, caused the smile to slide off his face. He peered at them over the top of his half-moon spectacles. "Is something the matter?"

"In fact there is, Albus," answered Hugh.

"Have a seat." Dumbledore waved at the two cushy armchairs in front of his desk, waiting until James and his father had taken their seats before settling back in his own chair and clearing his letters to one side. They could wait until later. "What seems to be the problem?" For once, Dumbledore could think of no answer to why James and his father had arrived unannounced in his office, considering that James' OWL results had been superb.

"Yesterday, James bumped into Regulus Black in Diagon Alley. It seems that Sirius has been missing from his family home for over three weeks."

Dumbledore removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes, suddenly looking very tired, before placing them delicately back onto the end of his nose. "And no one knows where he might have gone? James?"

James looked up at the Headmaster. "No, Professor." He hesitated, unsure of how much of Sirius' turbulent lifestyle to reveal to both his father and Dumbledore. He decided quickly that the situation was now so bad that it no longer mattered. "He has a lot of Muggle friends who I don't really know, so I think he may be with them."

"I understand the incident last term has caused a serious rift in your friendship with Mr Black." Dumbledore did not pose this observation as a question. The overnight dissolution of the infamous Marauder's had been a source of gossip within the castle for many weeks.

James squirmed with guilt at the Headmaster's words.

Dumbledore continued. "So I presume that Mr Black saw himself as unable to approach you, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew after he left home." He seemed to catch James' feelings of guilt, because he quickly added, "I am not blaming you in the slightest for this James." His use of James' first name forced James to look up from his knees in shock. "I'm just trying to gauge Mr Black's frame of mind at the end of the summer term."

"Do you think it's likely he may be staying with Muggle friends?" asked Hugh.

"I think it's a strong possibility. Mr Black's family are one of the most powerful in Europe, with fingers in many pies, shall we say? I therefore can make an educated guess that Mr Black would want to distance himself from the entire Wizarding world in order to be safe."

"What can you do?" asked James desperately, not even bothering to ask if Dumbledore was willing to help.

Dumbledore rose and walked over to a portrait of an elderly wizard in 18th century dress. "Professor Wenlock, if you would be so kind as to pop to your other portrait and inform Mr Icke that I will be paying him an urgent visit this afternoon." The portrait lifted his hat in respect and shuffled out of his painting. Dumbledore turned back to the Potters. "My first step will be to pay Mr Icke in the Improper Use Of Magic Office a quick call to check up on Mr Black's wand use in the last month. I will then speak to a few people who might have seen him recently."

Hugh nodded, relieved that Dumbledore was as concerned as they were. "We have made some posters to hand round all of the London hospitals."

"A very wise idea," said Dumbledore. "Would I be able to call by your home this evening to inform you of my discoveries?"

Hugh nodded earnestly. "Of course." He stood up to leave, thinking that haste was their best options.

"We will find him," said Dumbledore, sending the two of them a comforting gaze over the top of his spectacles.

Hugh and James felt vaguely calmed by Dumbledore's positivity, but they hastened to leave, feeling that the longer they waited, the more chance Sirius had to do something incredibly stupid.

After the Potter's had left, Dumbledore sat heavily in his wing-backed chair and rubbed his eyes. Despite presenting an aura of confidence to the Potters, who were clearly in desperate need of comforting, he was deeply worried. Dumbledore liked to think of himself as an extremely perceptive Headmaster; someone who rarely interfered with student life but had a constant awareness of even the smallest of his student's issues. He was now mentally kicking himself for failing to intervene in Sirius Black's problems in the past year.

"Accio Student File: Sirius Black III".

A thick cream folder zoomed towards him from a magically enlarged cupboard. Dumbledore flipped it open and began to flick through the many parchments detailing various detentions, until he reached the paper's regarding exam and essay marks. He noted immediately that Sirius' post-Easter holiday marks were far lower than his one's in the previous term. In fact, most of them were Acceptables, something which before fifth year would have been unheard of for the oldest Black son, who usually achieved Outstandings with limited work. Dumbledore flicked further back in Sirius' file and realised that in fact, his marks had been lower for the entire year. No wonder the Headmaster had received so many teacher complaints about him.

Dumbledore flipped the parchments closed and frowned down them. A small cough behind him alerted him to Professor Wenlock's return to his portrait.

"Mr Icke is ready for you, Professor," the portrait squeaked.

"Thank you,' replied Dumbledore as he stood. It was with a sense of deep unease that he apparated from Hogwarts to the Ministry.

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"I'll make it worth your while." He left the offer hanging, while pressing his body forward and brushing one hand down the man's chest.

The older man looked Sirius up and down in the light from the streetlamp and gave a curt nod. "Twenty it is then."

"Payment up front."

The man thrust two crumpled ten pound notes in to Sirius outstretched hand. "Got anywhere to go?"

"Sure." Sirius led the man off the main road, away from the noise of traffic and the catcalls of the other hustlers and down a small alley littered with rubbish and over-spilling bins.

No sooner had the couple been engulfed in the relative blackness of the alley, Sirius was thrown back against the brick wall and felt rough lips pull at his own. He had known the man would be the type to attempt some sort of normalcy or affection in the fucking. The ones with the hard exteriors often were. Sirius decided to acquiesce to his illusions. He kissed the man back, tasting the bitter pang of lager and cigarettes.

It was a quick knee-trembler of a trick. Up against the wall, the rough bricks grinding against his palms as Sirius steadied himself. There was barely any lubricant and certainly no condom as the stranger took him roughly. And then it was over and they were both buttoning up their jeans and avoiding eye contact.

"You here often?" The man almost glared at Sirius.

"Sure."

"See you again then." It was almost a question, but not quite.

Sirius let the man leave first, waited a few minutes and then exited the alley, returning to his spot on the corner of the road. He lit a fag and leant against a grafittied lamp-post.

"Alright Black. Gotta spare?"

Sirius turned his head to greet Pete, who stood with his jacket wrapped tightly around his skinny frame despite the mild summer evening. "Sure." He handed the pack to the other boy.

"Staying here long?"

Sirius took a drag and shook his head. "No. I'll head over to see a friend after one more trick."

"Where are you going?"

Sirius was reluctant to let Pete drag along behind him. The kid was only fourteen or so, and although Sirius was still a month away from turning sixteen, he felt that in the hustling game, that year might as well have been a decade. Luckily, the car that pulled up at the curb in front of them prevented Sirius from having to answer.

Sirius stepped up to the window, which rolled down. He exhaled smoke and leant down, propping one arm in the window-frame. The man sitting at the wheel was the standard older businessman type. Divorced, past his best. Sirius had had them all before. He made a quick deal and got in, leaving Pete standing awkwardly on the pavement.

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Eyes shut; pitch black. The voices drifted over him but never really permeated his consciousness. He could feel every bone in his body, hot and heavy, sinking into the filthy mattress beneath him and distantly registered someone releasing the belt from his upper arm. The blood flowed strong again, sending a second rush of heroin to his brain. Sirius decided that he would never need to move again. Here, on this mattress, he had no coherent thought and most importantly, no memory. He was dimly aware of a second body crashing down next to him. Lifting one eyelid briefly, he dimly registered that it was Ollie, before closing it again. The other boy half-curled against Sirius' side, content, like Sirius, to just lie until the euphoric felling of contentness was slowly replaced by a deep itch like need for more.

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End file.
